Pick Your Battles
by sayrahsunshine
Summary: Joe takes Una down to Wiltshire to finally meet his friends. The night goes well, until one of them think he's funny... (Joe Sugg x OC) (Warning: Sexist jokes and strong adult language)


**A/N:** This fic had been edited to change this from a reader insert imagine to a regular JoexOC pairing fic. Una is pronounced OO-nah.

* * *

It was a chilly December night in the middle of downtown Bath. The crisp air held the heady aroma of beer, and hot metal from the large space heater set out on the pub patio. A small breeze whisked away the plumes of cigarette smoke that wafted up from the other patrons.

Raucous laughter exploded from a small group sat together on a large bench, their bodies huddled together slightly.

"So, I said, what's the big deal, mate? I thought it was meant to be that size!"

Una held on to her ribs as a cramp set in from laughing too hard, her hand swiping away at stray tears.

"Oh, god. Stop it," she managed to get out, between giggles. "I'm dying."

This only spurred them on more.

"Don't wet yourself, love," Joe teased, trying to contain himself.

"Shit, that might not be a bad idea," Lewis chimed in, rubbing his hands together. "It's fucking freezing out here. At least she'd be warm."

"Yeah, for .2 seconds before it freezes over," she retorted. "And you know what, ice crotch just doesn't sound appealing right now."

Joe snorted just as he swigged the last bit of his drink, coughing and laughing. Una patted his back sporting a huge smirk on her face.

"Alright, well I actually need to go piss," Joe said, getting up from the table. "You want another drink while I'm in there?"

Una chuckled, "Only if you wash your hands before getting it."

He rolled his eyes and pulled a stupid face, "Nah, I'm not. And I'm gonna make sure to stick my finger in the drink, too."

She grimaced and the rest of the boys laughed, "Gross. I don't know what you have. You might have diseases!" She yelled at her boyfriend's retreating form, everyone almost cackling when he gave her the finger without even looking back.

"What? We don't get the offer of another drink?" Jack exclaimed. "Load of shit, that is."

"Hm, sorry to say, but I'm just prettier than you," Una teased, dramatically flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Debatable," said Matt, smirking, earning a smack on the shoulder from Una. "Rude."

"Anyway, who's got the next story?" Lewis asked.

There were grumbles around the table, before Matt spoke up again.

"I don't have a story. But I have one-liner jokes that are pretty good."

"Alright then. Let's hear it."

He cleared his throat and smirked, eyeing everyone at the table, "How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?"

Silence.

"Phone her."

The boys snorted. A nervous laugh escaped Una's lips.

"If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?... You've made her chain too long."

Una shifted uncomfortably as the men erupted into laughter.

"Go on then, Matt! Give us another."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?... Oral sex makes your day, and anal sex makes her whole week."

She clenched her jaw and her fist tightened. A dark anger starting to boil in the bottom of her belly. Her mind started to numb and the chatter around her turned into white noise. She took a slow, deep breath.

"OH, this is a good one. What you do ca-"

"Actually, you know what, Matt," Una stopped him. "These, um, jokes… are making me really uncomfortable."

The table suddenly became silent.

"And I would prefer if we changed the subject," she leveled Matt with a hard stare.

He began to splutter, "Oh. Sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you. Just trying to make everyone laugh."

"No, it's fine. I just… I don't really find those kinds of jokes funny," she smiled grimly. "You know, being a woman and all."

His mouth closed with an audible pop.

"Sorry about that. Took bloody ages to get these pints," Joe's sudden appearance made all four of them jump. His eyebrows shot up, looking around at the group as he handed out the drinks. "Everything alright?"

"Yep, just fine mate," Lewis said, almost too quickly. He grabbed his beer and took a long swig. The rest of the boys followed suit. Slowly, Una took her own drink and sipped, finally dropping her gaze from Matt.

Joe's eyes shifted to each of them before sitting down, slinging an arm around Una's shoulders. "I washed my hands, by the way. Just for you."

"Hm?" she looked up at him slightly dazed, before comprehending what he meant. "Oh. Yeah, thank you, baby."

His eyebrows furrowed, concern and confusion etched into his features, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Una side-stepped out of the bench seat, Joe's arm sliding off her. "I'll be right back, need to use the _little ladies_ room." Before he could even think of saying anything, she was already inside.

He whipped his head back to the boys, all of them looking slightly guilty.

"What happened?" Joe asked sharply.

Jack was the first to speak up, "Well, we were just chatting shit and Matt was telling some jokes and she got upset."

Joe blinked, "What kind of jokes?" He looked at Matt. "Oh, not your bloody one-liners!"

Lewis and Jack groaned.

Joe felt as though his eyes could literally roll into the back of his head.

"I bring my girlfriend here to meet you all, and you think the best first impression is to tell the most sexist jokes in your arsenal? What the hell, Matt?"

Matt arms were crossed tightly as he looked at his shoes, "Not my fault she has a stick up her arse." He looked up at Joe, "The jokes were funny."

"They were funny when we were 17 and didn't know any better," Joe snapped. "Would you say that shit in front of your mum? Your sister?"

"Of course not!"

"Then, what makes my girlfriend any different?"

"Exactly that. She's your girlfriend. I thought she'd be chill."

Joe threw his hands in the air in frustration, "She is chill! Una has literally been bullshitting with us all night. But suddenly she's not, because how _dare_ she not find your shitty jokes funny."

Matt just sat there, quiet.

"For fucks sake…" Joe stood up, straightening out his shirt. "I'm going to go check on her. I'll be back."

He left his friends sitting at the bench, all of them feeling slightly awkward.

It didn't take long for Joe to find Una. She was sat at a booth in the far corner of the pub, her fingers tracing circles into the wood of the table.

"Hey you."

He smiled when her bright eyes met his. She gave him a tiny smile back.

"Hi."

He slid in next to her, wrapping an arm around her, "What's up?"

Una sighed softly, "I'm sorry for getting upset…"

Joe frowned, "No, don't apologize. They told me what happened. You had every right to be angry."

"But, now they probably don't like me," she let out a soft chuckle.

"Bullshit," he swept a strand of hair behind her ear. "They love you. Matt just got his little ego knocked down a bit because he's not as funny as he thinks he is."

Una nodded slowly, still tracing patterns on the table top. Joe gently grabbed her hand, bringing it up to kiss her knuckle. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah," she sighed again. "I'm sorry for ruining the night."

"You didn't ruin anything, love," he got up, helping her out of her seat. "Matt on the otherhan-"

"Um, Una?"

Joe and Una turned to the sound of the voice, surprised to see, no one other than, Matt.

She looked him right in the eyes, "Yes?"

"Yeah… Look, I'm sorry," he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "The other boys and I were talking about it and the jokes were a little…"

Una shot him a look.

"I mean, they were very out of line. In my defense, I've used them for years and they always get a laugh on a lad's night out." Matt sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets, "But I can see why you wouldn't find them funny… at all. And I'm really sorry. You won't have to worry about me saying shit like that again."

After carefully listening to everything he said, Una nodded and took a deep breath, "Well, that's a start."

Matt nodded as well, and chuckled nervously, "So… am I forgiven?"

Una kept her gaze cold as Matt's anxiously waited for her response. Joe had to look down at their feet to hide his laughter, but his shaking shoulders betrayed him.

She began to smirk, "Yes."

Matt grinned, whole face starting to light up.

"But, do it again, and I'll deck you."

Joe and Matt let out a sharp laugh.

"How is that any better from what I was saying? You just threatened me!" Matt teased.

Before Una could retort, Joe spoke, "And, she'll put your arse on the ground. Careful."

Matt just laughed and headed out to the patio again, Joe and Una in tow.

He squeezed her hand before crossing the threshold, a look in his eye and small smile on his lips.

For some reason, she knew what he meant, without even saying anything.

 _Pick your battles, Una. Not all can be won in one night._


End file.
